By His Grace...mele giye!

After some admittedly somber posts, I'm happy to post about my return to Ghana! Excitement is in the air "E lia?" (Are you around?) People are happy that I am back and especially that I am back to stay.

It's tempting to think that I'm something special in and of myself, but I am reminded of where I was last week, last year, and in the past. I am reminded of God's grace in my life and how this is the only way I can be here. Mele giye!" (I am here!)

By God's grace, my dear friends have overwhelmed me with their support, encouragement, gifts and love. By His grace I have a purpose and its here in Ghana right now. Its exciting. Definitely adventurous. This is freedom. 

As people pray over us and email me I see God's hand in all of this. Truly He is directing us in ministry, day by day, even when we don't realize it!

It has been great to watch "my son" love on Robert as much as he does me. I thought Kwesi might be afraid of him because he is a male. Most kids are that way. But he has made Robert his own little amusement park as he climbs, plays, flies in the air...fun stuff.

Carlin arrives here in our village tomorrow hopefully. I am beyond excited for everyone here to meet him as well. 

I spoke with Mawuko today and we await his planning of the next kids games. I had hoped Robert would be able to be a part but I'm not so sure it will work out.

So summarized on progress...we've greeted many people annnnnnnd that's mostly it. We have been to market, purchased some things to take care of the mission house. Although it sounds like we've not done much, we've pretty much been going strong up until today. Since this afternoon we've mostly been in the house taking it easy as we recover from the heat, walking several miles each day, playing with kids all evening, and greeting, greeting, greeting!

Thanks for staying in touch! Thank you for your support! 

God bless and may His grace be evident in your life today!

Between the eyes...

Today it hit me big time. I'm leaving. Leaving my family behind. I cried in the tub because I thought about how we'll be crying tomorrow as I leave my favorite, amazing sister, behind. I thought about leaving my parents. I thought about the tears that have already been shed in Belton and GW and East Texas and other places in recent weeks/days. I was talking to my sister today about how I'm realizing I'm waayyyy more of a people pleaser than I'd like to admit. This evening I realized how much it hurts me to know that my family will hurt when I leave. This may sound contradictory to my last post. Its not.

Tonight I feel like I got a small taste of Luke 14.
"Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: ²⁶ “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple. ²⁷ And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple."


Now I don't feel like I hate my father and mother and brothers and sisters but I feel like they might feel like I do. I have had people ask in jest, "What did we do that was so bad that you want to move over there?"


But tonight, I wish with everything in me that Momma would know that she is an inspiration to me. That I share with others how blessed I am that God has graced me with her and the joy that I find in our relationship these days. God is so good.


I want Daddy to know that its not just lip service when I say he has set the bar super high. That he's everything I could hope for in a father. I guess he will know how much I'll miss long hugs and inside jokes like "What is it?" "You sneaky Daddy!" and in a British accent, "Daddy?" With response, "What-ey?"


I want my older brother to know that I wish with all my heart that I could be here when he gets to Texas and that my sister-in-law would know that I'm sad to miss out on the chance to be so close to her and get to know her well. And I'm sad I'll miss out on the cute-ness that is Kaden.


I want my younger brother to know that I'm super glad he's going with me to move to Ghana and that I wouldn't choose any other person on this earth to go. I want him to know the encouragement that he's been in my life and the hope I have in the future that God has for him.


I want my sister to know a lot that I can't type right now because I'm way too emotional. I want her to know that the best gift she has ever given me was taking all her time off to spend the week with me as I get ready to move. And I want my brother-in-law to know that that is also the greatest gift he has given me!


I don't want my family to think I hate them. I don't want them to hurt. 


Today and the next few days I will be living, breathing and moving on Grace alone!

The time has come...

well, actually I have four more days. Monday is the day that three of us fly out for Ghana.

As this is my "moving date" I have packed up and picked up, ready to move my life to Ghana.
This evening my mom and dad and I finished packing ten footlockers (totaling over a quarter of a ton in weight) and loading them into my mom's minivan. (Minivans are so amazingly versatile in case you didn't know!)

The last two weeks have been filled with everything from goat trainings to cleaning to visiting people, meetings, phone calls, ordering insurance, closing bank accounts, doing fundraisers, planning, trying to make "last" phone calls and communications and choosing what is MOST important and necessary to take to Ghana.

And I am tired! I have been this way for two weeks, super tired. But I cannot sleep and when I do it's not for long! I am excited about what's in store for this ministry for sure but mostly for the hearts that are involved in leadership! In the next two weeks I will see the worlds of both Ghanaians and Americans who have a heart for the Ghanaians to know Jesus, collide!

When I think about what's in store I just see a blank document- an empty sheet of paper...and I'm waiting with eager anticipation for the Lord to fill it.

And when He does I'll make sure I get on here and describe to you guys what it looks like!

Sleep time...zzz

I like words. But I’m not good with them. Here lately I haven’t been able to express myself well. What I feel inside seems impossible to express in words. As I finished reading a book called Kisses from Katie, the author, Katie (a young American woman living in Uganda), had the words.

“Sometimes sadness seems almost unbearable, the problems unsolvable, the wounds un-healable. This has taught me one of the greatest lessons: the tension between inefficiency and faithfulness. The assurance that I must obey and be faithful only to what He has asked of me, even when tangible, earthly results or successes are not seen. I want to help them all, fix all their problems, and successfully find a solution to their horrendous living conditions. But often in an un-ideal situation, there is not an ideal solution this side of heaven. … God assures me this is okay. If I continue to preach the gospel, and more important, live the gospel here – even if outward conditions never change or change very slowly- and these people can live eternally with Jesus in heaven someday, a few years of suffering will pale in comparison.” (Emphasis mine.)

When I read this, my heart was affirmed in my feelings toward Ghana and my expectations beginning March 13^th, but also my feelings here as I say goodbye to friends and family who are hurting.

I’ve questioned God, “How do I say goodbye? (Likely final goodbyes to some of my dear friends in their 80’s and 90’s.) How do share the JOY in the call with family members, (who know I’ll miss the birth of their first child, and graduations, and weddings,) when my own heart experiences grief in knowing this? How can I ‘be there’ for people I love when I’m half a world away? How is it possible to be excited and ready to answer the call and GO and at the same time feel sadness of what I’m leaving behind? Why do I feel guilty when I experience one feeling more than the other?”

With these questions and emotions swirling around inside of me, I have felt like something is wrong. But this morning my Lord affirmed me, that nothing is wrong. This is normal. This is part of what it is to follow Christ.  It’s a bucket, full of roses and manure. It is joy and it is suffering. It is joy in suffering.

Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in His sufferings in order that we may also share in His glory. I consider our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:17 & 18

For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. 1 Corinthians 1:5

I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death, and so, somehow, to attain the resurrection from the dead. Philippians 3:10

Also in her book, Katie writes:

“I have learned along my journey that if I really want to follow Jesus, I will go to the hard places. Being a Christ follower means being acquainted with sorrow. We must know sorrow to be able to fully appreciate joy. Joy costs pain, but the pain is worth it. After all the murder had to take place before the resurrection.

Going into the hard places, entering into the sorrow because He entered for us first and because, by His grace, redemption and beauty are on the other side.”

Well said Katie, well said.

Suffering comes in many shapes and sizes, different intensities and frequencies, but it is never easy.  Even so, there is always a purpose in suffering. Lately I’ve struggled to believe this in faith, but today I see it. It’s true.  The ultimate purpose of suffering is just what Philippians 3:10 shows us. The depth of Philippians 3:10 is what shatters the arguments and persuasions of this world and it is what brings us back to the center of God’s design, His perfect plan. Philippians 3:10 negates the world’s projected value of comfort, inspires the heart to hope, exposes reality in Christ and awakens us to God’s power over illness, heartache, and even death.

This is joy—that I would be honored to share in the sufferings of Christ for His sake and for His glory. I need not compare. These are my sufferings for today. These are the things that are bringing me closer to my Lord and my Comforter. Today I am grateful.

My hope and prayer is that in sorrow, I will cling evermore to Jesus in hope rather than stew in bitterness, resentment, depression and/or anger. Because who can remain complacent in sorrow?