I have a feeling this is always going to be a recurring theme. The Gift is not like the trespass...still.
Example:
The Lord has been teaching me to trust the people He places within my life. Let me correct a mistake. (I'm not deleting and re-typing it because it points out the difference if I leave it.) The Lord has been teaching me to trust HIM WITH the people He places in my life.
Our first major team experience here left me with a bitter taste in my mouth. On a team of 9 people, while helping complete a task 7 team members (albiet 2 were temporarily blind,) left another girl and myself behind to carry about 80 lbs of rocks. I couldn't believe that they had left us behind even though it was unintentional. That hurt.
Then just this week we had another task in which we were to carry a heavy load down the mountain. As we began the journey, I found myself in a position carrying our fragile load. I knew if I took one more step I would likely fall and jeopardize our cargo and myself. I voiced my concern and was directed to move on. I took one step and literally "fell" into my own prophecy! I busted it on a huge stone and landed both legs and my left arm and hand and bum into a patch of stinging nettles (about 100 times worse than Texas stingin' nettles!) I tried to get up in a hurry, hoping I hadn't compromised our load. As I stood with my body was tingling all over and stinging where the plant had touched it, I reached for our load to carry my part again and as soon as my hand touched the fleece blanket the pain intensified. (Okay, I'm not a pansy. I can handle a decent amount of pain.) I tried to reposition my hand in such a way as to ease the pain and a teammate (the same one who told me to step even though I said I thought I would slip)
barked at me, "Look we just need to get over ourselves and take care of this. Its more important than any of us."
While I agreed with the importance of our task, I knew that if we lost team members due to injuries we'd be even worse off. Nevertheless, I consented and dealt with the hand, leg and bum after we set our load down.
Later this week, a leader (seemingly) went back on his word.
Because of these situations I found myself totally upset, irritated and doing anything BUT trusting those that God has put around me. In fact, I was ready to check out emotionally and mentally.
But then the Lord showed me that He is in control. HE is the One I need to trust and when I surely trust Him, no matter what others do or don't do on my behalf, I am in His hands. I confessed my sin, anger and frustration. I asked the Lord to forgive me for allowing myself to stay in such a place and committed to trusting Him with every person around me here. Below is part of a prayer I have also
been praying:
"Deliver me, Jesus,
from the fear of being forgotten and from the fear of being wronged."
As I prayed these things, I felt the Love of the Savior rush in and remind me...the gift is not like the trespass. At all.
Last night I was late to dinner because I was vacuuming our floor and conference room. (No I'm no saint. We have chores and I had not done the 3rd floor from the day before and the conference room was my duty that day.) Anyway, I got to dinner and there was plenty of soup and about 8 small pieces of potatoes, and no meat. My heart dropped as I thought, "They've forgotten me again." But
immediately the Lord reminded me "the Gift is not like the trespass" and I was genuinely happy with the food that I WAS able to have.
And then guess what, I noticed a plate was made, I turned around and the leader said, "That plate's for you."
My eyes filled with tears as I thanked the King of kings that the Gift is not like the trespass!
Great things are happening here in Italy. The Lord is just as faithful here as He is in Texas and Tefle! ;)
