Last week I was a high school biology teacher. This week I was a fourth grade english/reading teacher. I am currently substituting in a school district in central Texas.

Prior to this job, I was substituting in a school district east of Houston. Yesterday I got fifteen (15) phone calls for jobs in the Houston area. Jobs in my area here, in central Texas, seem to be scarce although I did get two (2) calls yesterday.

Ordinarily I would be frustrated with the lack of jobs available. Lack of jobs = less chance at possible income.

But God has truly spoken to my heart lately. He has shown me that ALLLLLL that I have comes directly from His hand alone.

See, this time last year I was teaching and coaching full-time. That was my job which I worked at to provide for myself.

I had previously come to the conclusion that the money I made was really "God's money" and that the place I find myself in life is only by the grace of God. I acknowledged that the people in my life, the places I've been and the lessons I have learned are all gifts from God.

But the lesson has gone deeper, into my very being I'd like to think.

I willingly gave up my full-time teaching position to substitute, hoping to move to W. Africa by the end of spring. I spent last semester substituting and preparing for how/where God would lead me. I had a savings account that eased my conscience as I worked making less than a third of the income I previously made. But soon that savings was depleted.

And even though the savings were gone, the bills kept coming. At the same time I was trying to move from southeast Texas to central Texas and had to make trips to south Texas, east Texas and central Texas. It was crazy and exhausting!

Finally I found myself in Texas. I was exhausted in every aspect of life!!

Currently, I am sitting waiting on a job for tomorrow. But I don't see it as merely waiting for a job. I am waiting on God to provide. There was a job for 1/2 the day tomorrow but I did not want to take that in case there was an full-day job that came along.

So I prayed that God would provide and decided the next job available I would take no matter how long it was or what level. Before I could finish typing the paragraph above, God provided a full-day job as a second grade teacher! Praise the Lord for His provision!! I believe that the job I have tomorrow is truly a gift from God!

God is good. He is merciful. He is just, righteous and patient. He is faithful even when I am not.

I am learning that His grace is very real, not just an idea or concept. For it's by grace we have been saved through faith, and not of ourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, so that none of us can boast. (Eph. 2:8-9 adapted)

I am learning that just as I am to wait on the Lord to provide a substitute job (sometimes I have to wait until 5:30 the day of), I am to wait on Him for all things.

He may not show me what capacity He wants me to serve until I am more ready to do so. He may not provide all the finances for Ghana until I am prepared in all ways to go.

A missionary to Kenya once told me that he realized that for years he had made a mistake. In reading Psalm 119:105 he interpreted it as "Thy word is a spotlight to my feet and a floodlight to my path." However, the verse says it is "a lamp to my feet and a light to my path."

Think about carrying a kerosene lamp under the pitch black night sky. It sheds light but not near as much as a maglight or a floodlight would. In fact, with a kerosene lamp, you can't really see much ahead of you until you take another step and as you take that step a little more is revealed to you.

This is what I have learned in my faith. As I wait on God, He provides. As I wait on God, He reveals to me the next and not much more. And because I "actively wait" preparing for what may be in store, when the next step is revealed to me, I have been ready to take it.

So I will continue to work with story-telling, farming, discipling, and any other thing God puts before me so that when He says I am ready, I can take these tools and serve Him!!

So don't be disappointed that you're "floodlight" is only a lamp because it gives you a greater opportunity to trust and rely on God. Easier said that done, I know.

My love to all!! God bless!!