Back in Perspective

I have had a difficult time writing these days, and although I’ve not done a good job of staying up-to-date with the goings on here, I want to share a lesson I learned from today (which is now yesterday).

Today I was more lonely than ever. Today I wanted to go home. Today I wanted to quit on those working around me. Today I wanted to give up on God. Today I had the chance to talk to Daddy and I just wanted to ask how he was feeling and ask for tips on riding our motorcycle, but before I knew it, I had turned our precious time into a vent session.

A little later in the day I called to talk to the lovely woman who disciples me. I shared some encouraging news with her, then some of my discouragement and she prayed. After she prayed for me and we hung up, I continued my Bible study and although it was totally unrelated, a thought hit me…

“How dare I mope around the house, wasting time, wasting the beautiful rainy day, because things aren’t going as I expect! What am I saying about God as I remain in this state?!”

It was more like God’s question to me. The answer, “I guess when I’m like this, I’m saying God isn’t big enough. He doesn’t see the big questions looming over me. He can’t handle the needs of this ministry. He can’t manage the calling He’s placed on my life and letting me know what I’m to do next.”

It was a realization that snapped me out of my mopey mood and put things in perspective. I was disappointed in myself at time wasted, especially the time to talk with my dad.

I am grateful for the chance to come before a holy God and be sorry and know that based on His promise, He will surely forgive me and make me clean. I’m grateful that He doesn’t destroy us when He shows us our errors but gently leads us in the way that is right, before Him.

No one loves me like that. No one is as gentle. And when, by my actions, I say all those things mentioned above, He still loves, He still provides, and He still leads.

What a mighty, compassionate, patient God we serve.