Today is April 4th 2011

I feel like I'm doing good just to know the month! Life seems like a whirlwind that is taking place around me and I have been trying to figure out where I should jump in, but part of me is resisting. Life is so fast here and so impersonal. I realized how fast life is when I was in Ghana and Godson continually said, "Relax. Take it easy." I would feel like we needed to hurry to the man's house to negotiate or hurry to meet someone so we weren't late. Even when he told me to relax I found it difficult to do. Now many of us know what the term "African Time" means but that's not what I'm talking about here. We left when Godson said we should and I can only remember one or two times where we were a little behind on time. But still, I felt like I should always be rushing somewhere. Not having a vehicle definitely helped me to slow down and "take it easy." I have a cousin who married a yankee. (Is it bad to say yankee? Not sure what the connotation is with that.) Anyway, she came to Texas to meet the fam and had a very difficult time with the "slow lifestyle." I remember someone from the North saying, "You guys talk slow, move slow and do everything s-l-o-w." I can only thank God that I don't live up there. I'd never make it. So I noticed how fast-paced our lives are here in the U.S. while I was in Ghana and doing my best to slow down. But I didn't notice how impersonal we are on a day to day basis until I returned from Ghana. Wow! Now, it stands to reason that given our busy lives here, we would not connect with people as much throughout the day. Even still, I'm not sure I've ever been more lonely in my ENTIRE 20-something years!!!! In the mornings Kwesi would be knocking on my door no later than 6am. The only "me-time" I had was when I was bathing, utilizing the latrine, or the occasional moments when I locked myself in my room and ignored all of the knocking and hollering. I did struggle with not having so much down time, all the while not realizing the effect that NOT having these people around me would have on me. I miss seeing my kiddos each day. I miss their smiles and their laughter. I miss their excitement and their assistance. I miss watching the learn. I just stinkin' miss 'em! I miss Edi's Mother and visiting with her each day. I don't think a day went by that she didn't teach me something new or introduce me to someone new. We got to the point where we were both content to just sit in the quiet (if all the kids happened to be at school or away). I miss laughing with her too. I miss Godson and his teaching. Again, a day didn't go by that I didn't learn something new. He taught me a lot of the language but he also helped me learn to be "street smart" in Ghana. There's a lot that a foreigner cannot just pick up on but must be taught. I miss Pastor James who always has an encouraging word just when I need it and I'm certain he has NO clue how encouraging he is to me. I miss Pastor Vincent who is just the most incredible Ghanaian man I know. He is a great dad and husband (I'm sure they are there but I've not seen many throughout Ghana), and he is a very caring, thoughtful pastor. Some of his family laughed when I called him pastor. Maybe he doesn't have the "paper credentials" but in my book he's got what really matters as far as shepherding is concerned and that's a lot better than many "pastors" I've met there. I miss greeting my friends along the road into the village or the highway to market. There's the lady that sells water and peanuts and biscuits. She wanted to send some peanuts and popcord home to my mother but I forgot to stop by one more time. I hope she's not mad at me. There's the lady that sits across from her and sells charcoal. She doesn't speak a lick o' English. There's two or three hairdressers along the way into the village and one probably had her baby by now. Oh and there's my other seamstress friend, Esinam's mother, who also should have had her baby. There are the mango sellers, the stall owners, the internet guy, the FanMilk guy Daniel who I was very fond of until he offered to father my child. Benedicta works at a drinking spot and I attended Wednesday night Bible study with her. Miss her. Whew...there are so many that I miss. So many important loving people in my life that live half a world away. Here in Texas, if we want to see people everyday and they don't work or live where we do, we pretty much have to schedule them in. But I understand that's life. I'll schedule if that's what it means to see people. But that doesn't make it less lonely to go from every day filled with the same people to, well, not. All this reminiscing has helped my heart and I look forward with excitement to being able to travel to Ghana in a little over a month! Woohoo!!! My African family- I will see you soon! :)